The Case of Elliot (part four)

This nine-part series will illustrate the emotional intelligence (EI) theory intervention paradigm. The content of these dialogues may be of interest to the casual reader as well as the therapist seeking to increase h/er understanding and application of EI theory. An update of the problem solving adventure between Elliot and his EI guide will be posted each day, for nine daysElliot: I wish I didn’t have to be gay. It would make things a lot easier.

EI Guide: What about being gay concerns you?

Elliot: Everything.

EI Guide: Goodness, what motivates you? I mean, if things would have been a lot easier, what compelled you to tell your father you were gay?

Elliot: I wanted to be honest with him and I wanted him to accept me.

EI Guide: What did you imagine being honest and seeking acceptance would bring?

Elliot: Probably exactly what I got.

EI Guide: Then why do it?

Elliot: I think it’s best to be honest.

EI Guide: And accepted?

Elliot: Yes, most of all acceptance. People need acceptance.

EI Guide: Do they?

Elliot: Of course they do.

EI Guide: What would it mean if people didn’t accept you?

Elliot: It means that I am not acceptable – that there is something wrong with me.

EI Guide: All that from someone not accepting you?

Elliot: Pretty much.

EI Guide: Let me get all this straight. Your father rejects you, and you are a piece of shit? Someone doesn’t accept you, and you are unacceptable? That is a lot of power to give to other people. It seems whenever someone thinks something about you, you immediately believe it’s true. It’s like someone put a spell on you and you become whatever they want you to be. You cannot have happiness in your life unless everyone you meet loves and accepts you?

Elliot: Yes, I suck and you are just telling me how much.

EI Guide: So I have that same kind of control over you?

Elliot: Obviously.


7 responses

  1. Pingback: The Case of Elliot (part three) |

  2. Pingback: The Case of Elliot (part eight) |

  3. Pingback: The Case of Elliot (part seven) |

  4. Pingback: The Case of Elliot (part six) |

  5. Pingback: The Case of Elliot (part five) |

  6. Pingback: EI Theory Part Three – Emotion and Psychology |

  7. Pingback: EI Theory Part Four – Beliefs and Emotions |

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