The Case of Elliot (part eight)


This nine-part series will illustrate the emotional intelligence (EI) theory intervention paradigm. The content of these dialogues may be of interest to the casual reader as well as the therapist seeking to increase h/er understanding and application of EI theory. An update of the problem solving adventure between Elliot and his EI guide will be posted each day, for nine days.

Elliot: I wish I didn’t have to be gay. It would make things a lot easier.

EI Guide: Can you ever be just one thing?

Elliot: It’s sort of like arguing with a crazy person.

EI Guide: Yes, and would you want to fight a crazy person for saying crazy things to you?

Elliot: No. I would probably feel sorry for them.

EI Guide: Let’s use that same imagery to understand your father’s response to you when you told him you are gay. Is there any connection you can make?

Elliot: My father isn’t crazy. He is pretty sane, actually.

EI Guide: Great! But was he saying some crazy stuff to you?

Elliot: Yes. He was saying that gay people are filthy, an abomination, disgusting, drug addicts, sex fiends and pedophiles.

EI Guide: And what is sane about that?

Elliot: Nothing . . . unless I think it’s sane to think that.

EI Guide: Is it sane to think you are an abomination filthy, drug addicted, disgusting pedophile?

Elliot: It’s pretty insane for someone to think that. I still don’t like it.

EI Guide: I’m glad you don’t like it. I wouldn’t expect you to like it.

Elliot: Well, how do I get rid of my anger?

EI Guide: You can change your thoughts.

Elliot: Like thinking what he’s saying is insane?

EI Guide: How would you respond to an insane person who said these things to you?

Elliot: I get it.

EI Guide: Good, but how would you respond? What would you tell yourself?

Elliot: I would tell myself that he doesn’t know how to behave. He is hallucinating about something. He is saying things that are crazy and he can’t help it.

EI Guide: What emotion would you feel then?

Elliot: I guess I would feel sad. Maybe I would think it was funny.

EI Guide: Shame on you.

Elliot: Is that a suggestion?

EI Guide: Very funny.

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5 responses

  1. Pingback: The Case of Elliot (part four) | eitheory.com

  2. Pingback: The Case of Elliot (part two) | eitheory.com

  3. Pingback: The Case of Elliot (part eight) | eitheory.com

  4. Pingback: The Case of Elliot (part seven) | eitheory.com

  5. Pingback: The one-eyed king « JRFibonacci's blog: partnering with reality

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