I Put My Fist Down My Throat

As you might surmise from reviewing this blog, my clients often need help identifying their problems, notwithstanding their diagnoses. The following is an example of that process:

EI Guide: How can I help you?

Learner: After I eat, I put my fist in my mouth and make myself throw up.

EI Guide: How is that a problem for you?

Learner: I don’t know; you tell me.

EI Guide: I will take a wild guess and say that you value yourself primarily on how thin you are?

Learner: You are right. But that doesn’t help me understand why I put my fist down my throat.

EI Guide: Well, what would it mean if you were heavier? More weighty?

Learner: It would mean that I was fat and ugly and I wouldn’t have any friends. It would mean my husband would divorce me. It would mean other women would criticize me.  It would mean I was the object of a lot of ridicule and hatred.  You know how people act toward fat people.”

EI Guide: I’m sure I don’t, but is it isn’t likely that you wouldn’t have any friends at all if you were weightier?  I mean, unless you chose that outcome? Lots of weighty people have friends. I’ll play along, though. What would it mean if you didn’t have any friends?

Learner: It would mean that people didn’t like me and that I was worthless.

EI Guide: For that reason alone? Because you were weighty?

Learner: Yeah.  If I were fat I would be a piece of shit. I’m a good person, otherwise.

EI Guide: Why don’t we spend some time talking about the system you use to evaluate your worth, rather than why you stick your fist in your mouth? I can’t stop you from doing that. I can help you manage this idea that your bathroom scale and other people’s opinions of you have become the source of your self-acceptance.


2 responses

  1. Pingback: analysis of poem? HELP? · Scubamans Travels

  2. Pingback: I Put My Fist Down My Throat | eitheory.com

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