Everyone has a perfect right to behave foolishly. And they often exercise that perfect right. No one HAS TO treat you respectfully, honestly, favorably or kindly. If they do, it is because they chose to; NOT because you chose their behavior for them. And you can still be happy living in a world where this reality can be accommodated.
People are addicted to a certain kind of happiness.
“When everything is going this way, I am truly happy.”
“What do you feel when things aren’t going like this?”
“I guess I feel some variation of shitty.”
“Can you change your definition of happiness?”
“I’m not sure.”
Resolving that happiness can only be defined as pure, uninterrupted bliss may be your emotional downfall.
You do not NEED people to be considerate, empathetic, thoughtful, intelligent, selfless or brave for you to be happy. You do not NEED to have paid all your bills, bought your dream car, be paid six figures or live in a mansion to be happy. You don’t NEED to be thinner, weightier, more attractive, less or more hairy or have a college degree to be happy.
In fact, if you’re not enough without these things you will not be enough if you get them.
Things don’t make you happy. You make yourself happy or unhappy by what you tell yourself about things. Neither do you NEED anything. If you tell yourself you NEED something you will make yourself anxious and unhappy when you don’t have it. If you tell yourself you WANT something and you NEED it or HAVE TO HAVE it, you can live contentedly in spite of not having it.
NEEDING something and WANTING something may be the difference between happy and unhappy.
Change, expand and be more logical with your definition of happiness.
People can just as well choose to be inconsiderate, uncaring, thoughtless, foolish, selfish and cowardly. And you can be happy, in spite of it. You can adjust and live happily in a world where you can expect that people will behave any way they choose to behave.
Seeking a pure definition of happiness will likely lead you to occasional periods of happiness. Seeking happiness using a more logical, rational definition of how you will experience contentment is likely to result in more and longer periods of contentment.
Considering that people behave according to their own standards, you might consider refashioning your definition of happiness – one that includes sadness, forgiveness, tolerance and patience.
You can call it hap-i-licious!
“How are you?”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I don’t have to live in a perfect world to be happy. Everything doesn’t have to be going my way for me to be happy – to be content. In fact, it is a pretty rare occasion when everything is going my way. I can tolerate people who behave badly. I can feel sad for people who make poor choices. I can forgive people who exercise their perfect right to behave fatally human.”
“I want to be hap-i-licious.”
“You can. It takes time and effort.”
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