The Burden of Change Is On You


Your emotional issues are not normally related to any particular happening. Your emotions are more likely a result of how you perceive an incident. Incidents, circumstances, situations and events are meaningless until you give them meaning. If you are going to make any kind of progress in improving your EI, it will be essential to properly identify the problem you are facing and then recognize the role perception and thought play in settling on an emotional response. Too often, even when working with a professional therapist, identifying the problem is not the primary goal. A professional EI guide, however, may ask, “How is it a problem for you?” intentionally placing the burden of change on the learner, intentionally removing others from the problem-solving adventure. (The idea that people treat you unfortunately is only meaningful if you place some level of significance on it and make some sort of inference about it.)

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