Rather than thinking other people have to change their behavior in order for you to be happy in life, EI theory teaches that definition of the problem and the solution will not rely on the cooperation of anyone but YOU to resolve it. People will behave as they please. (They have their own problems.) With improved EI, you can make active, conscious decisions to think twice about what the problem TRULY is and what you intend to do to change it.
Keep in mind that if you fail at your initial attempts at defining your true problem, it’s not the end of the line.
Don’t give up!
There are a few more steps in this process to consider.
Identifying your problem takes a lot of skill, dexterity in thought and practice. (You can email me [firstname.lastname@example.org] and I will help you, if you have really tried and can’t do it!) Granted, developing expertise in these initial steps in EI theory (especially articulated thought) is time-consuming.
You can expect to have difficulty with some part of it.
Your biggest leap of faith is not going to be using articulated thought. It will be admitting to yourself that you want to own your problems (rather than attributing them to others) and then committing to that goal. For more information on identifying the problem and improving emotional range, see the section of this blog entitled The Case of Elliot.
Nothing can better bring you peace than yourself.
- REBT vs. eitheory for the win! (eitheory.com)
- The Bio-Psycho-Social Model (eitheory.com)
- EITheory: A Biopsychosocial Intervention Model (eitheory.com)
- Think Twice – A Guide to Improved Emotional Intelligence (eitheory.com)
- Articulated Thought and EI Theory (eitheory.com)
- Emotional Intelligence and Locus of Control (eitheory.com)
- What Is Emotional Intelligence (part ii) (eitheory.com)
- You can really push my buttons! (eitheory.com)
- Incremental Change (eitheory.com)
- The Case of Elliot (part six) (eitheory.com)