In order to evolve your less-manageable first thought to one that is more manageable, you will have to be willing to build a more expansive emotional imagination. Your success at using more accurate, self-enhancing meaning statements (self-talk) will be a tough slog; this milestone, however difficult, may provide you with a stronger foundation for achieving emotional evolution.
Your first thought when facing adversity (if unmanageable) is often an irrational assumption, primarily used as a protective device. Your second thought, if better constructed than your first, will provide you a way back to emotional balance. Remember, your narrow, linear thinking (first thought) is what got you into your emotional muddle in the first place. Your second thought , if deliberately refashioned, will bring you out of it.
When you think twice, you can begin to broaden your emotional possibilities, opening up a world of alternative choices.
You can imagine any number of less threatening scenarios than the one you imagine you are facing. For example, you can suppose that the person who is behaving disrespectfully toward you is emotionally handicapped and, therefore, more deserving of patience and care than anger and rage. Changing your perspective, using your imaginative potential, may help with evolving your unmanageable emotion to one that is less self-defeating.
Your emotional imagination is limitless.
You will have to think twice, however, to give your emotional imagination more breadth and width.
Your emotional evolution will depend on replacing the feelings you normally use with those that are more likely to bring better emotional and physical results – an emotion that is less random, more focused and self-determined.
We all want to evolve from anger to happiness – as soon as possible. That ideal, as we discussed, isn’t likely to be achieved without establishing a new personal definition of happiness, using your expansive imagination.
So what is left?
There are many emotions that could reasonably replace anger and bring about a more self-enhancing emotional state. What you replace anger with will be entirely your own choice. For instance, forgiveness, sadness, contentment, calm, peace and serenity are likely to be more manageable than anger and rage. These emotions are all, for me, very reasonable options, as well. The key factor to consider when deciding which emotion you will use to replace your anger or rage is to choose something you can willingly accept as a replacement. For example, a person who hopes to quit smoking by replacing cigarettes with eating broccoli may be choosing an insufficient substitute for smoking. Broccoli may not provide the smoker with good results. If forgiveness is NOT something you can reasonably use as a suitable replacement for your anger, don’t set that emotion as your emotional goal. If you can’t find an emotion you would rather express than anger, you may simply have to accept incremental change. You may reasonably evolve your emotion from anger x 9 to angry x 3. That, my learned friend, is the definition of emotional evolution.
You can try to do better next time. For now, you will have to learn to evolve your emotion to something less self-defeating and more manageable by learning to think twice.
Nothing can better bring you happiness than yourself.
- Emotional Evolution (eitheory.com)
- The Bio-Psycho-Social Model (eitheory.com)
- You can really push my buttons! (eitheory.com)
- Incremental Change (eitheory.com)
- Anger (mlleaurore.wordpress.com)
- No Exceptions (eitheory.com)
- How to control anger with the help of hypnosis (slideshare.net)
- Emotional Flexibility (eitheory.com)
- How to Style Your Anger and Its Impact to Health (socyberty.com)
- Habitual Anger, Or An Ally? (mysticalawakenings.wordpress.com)