You can really push my buttons!

It is not uncommon to hear someone say, “He really knows how to push my buttons,” or “I’m just yanking your chain.” The implication being that we actually have buttons and chains and that these devices are available for others to push, pull and yank at will. What exactly do people mean when they utter this insanity? How will believing that you have buttons and chains or any other unexplainable, antithetical interference to improved emotional intelligence help you regain your senses?

Once people find out that you believe (on some basic level) that you have bells, horns, buttons, whistles and chains, they will be forever reaching, grabbing, pushing and pulling them. And you will be forever behaving as if they were doing that. This imaginative process (which is precisely what it is) alone is enough to inhibit or even prohibit EI improvement. For that reason, we will have to dismantle these devices. Stomp the life right out of them. Remove the batteries, snip the wires.

First we have to find it.

For the benefit of moving your emotional intelligence into the realm of improvement, let’s begin by simply establishing one simple fact: YOU HAVE NO BUTTON, CHAINS, BELLS WHISTLES OR HORNS! (If you do, you should see a mechanic – or join the circus.)

Your emotions are your thoughts. When you think, you feel. Locate your thought and you will find what you are referring to as your button. Once your thoughts are under your control, your emotions will also be. Then, when people reach for your button, they won’t find one.

Of course if you believe you have chains and buttons, you will behave as if you do. You will be forever explaining away your emotional problems by attributing them to these imaginary devices. You can believe anything is true about yourself. You can believe you know Jesus, that you are ugly, important, too fat, look like a super model, unimportant, depressed, a genius or a nitwit. If you believe it, you will behave as if it were true.

You can believe you have bells and whistles, too.

Anything is possible within the confines of your own skull.

Nothing can better bring you peace than yourself.


48 responses

  1. Pingback: You can really push my buttons! |

  2. Pingback: What kind of crackpot was this? |

  3. Pingback: A partial list of my self-defeating truths |

  4. Pingback: No Exceptions |

  5. Pingback: The Bio-Psycho-Social Model |

  6. Pingback: The Force of Criticism |

  7. Pingback: Emotional Evolution |

  8. Pingback: I let it bother me |

  9. Pingback: EI vs. EQ for the win! |

  10. Pingback: Think Once and for All |

  11. Pingback: EI Requires Patience |

  12. Pingback: Children |

  13. Pingback: Measuring Your Emotional Intelligence |

  14. Pingback: Incremental Change |

  15. Pingback: Mindful Commitment |

  16. Pingback: Go Suck a Lemon |

  17. Pingback: Social Problem Solving |

  18. Pingback: Selfishness |

  19. Pingback: Think Twice – A Guide to Improved Emotional Intelligence |

  20. Pingback: Imagination |

  21. Pingback: Think Twice |

  22. Pingback: Respond to the World with More Flexibility |

  23. Pingback: Emotional Intelligence Test |

  24. Pingback: You Make Yourself Feel |

  25. Pingback: What Is Emotional Intelligence (part ii) |

  26. Pingback: Self-Talk |

  27. Pingback: A Guide to Rational Living |

  28. Pingback: What Is Emotional Intelligence? |

  29. Pingback: Emotional Intelligence and Locus of Control |

  30. Pingback: Articulated Thought and EI Theory |

  31. Pingback: EITheory: A Biopsychosocial Intervention Model |

  32. Pingback: Think Twice |

  33. Pingback: Emotional Flexibility |

  34. Pingback: Emotional Intelligence – Best Practice |

  35. Pingback: Give the Gift of Emotional Intelligence |

  36. Pingback: Thinking Differently |

  37. Pingback:

  38. Pingback: Ebook “Push Button Business – PLR Business In A Box” « Internet Marketing Money Ebook

  39. Pingback: EI Theory Part Four – Beliefs and Emotions |

  40. Pingback: Familiarity Breeds Competence |

  41. Pingback: Emotion is a biopsychosocial phenomenon |

  42. Pingback: Think Twice: A Learner’s Guide to Improved Emotional Intelligence |

  43. Browsing this morning on your blog soaking up the truisms that you speak of and then… I see this post title.
    How wonderfully serendipitous.
    This is a” Thanks I needed that!” comment Doctor.
    Just needed the gentle reminder if you will, that only I am control over how I allow others to effect my world. Effect my feelings. I am not letting the power be anywhere but within my own Self.
    Thank you for that!

  44. I will follow your blog as if you are the Pied Piper. Quite honestly from this Baronesses point of view you have much to share -much that is valuable. Your blog is refreshing.
    And Dear Sir, I do not say these things to “push your buttons” [giggle] Sorry, I could not resist. (*+*)

  45. Pingback: Push! |

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s