Magical Thinking

It is my experience that people frequently have no idea why they’re nuts.  It would go without saying that as long as people cannot locate the origin of their nuttiness, they will not likely get well anytime soon.

It could be that we have been trained from as early as our first breath to think that our emotions are a manifestation of the things that happen to us. 

“He made me so mad!”

“He made me do it!”

“Stop doing that.  You are really getting on my nerves!”

Although these familiar and acceptable phrases often go without notice, acceptable utterances by nearly anyone, without alteration, they are actually quite insane, each depending on magic in order to be true.

People cannot make other people feel. 

People make themselves feel by the way they think.

If people want to feel differently, they will have to think differently.

The very moment we stop and take personal responsibility for each and every one of our own emotions, we will have taken an important step toward improved emotional intelligence.  As we build confidence and certainty in how our emotions are products of our own thought, that confidence and certainty, alone, will bring a measure of emotional relief.  

On the other hand, if we continue to wait for the world to form its opinions, behaviors and judgments around our own demands, we will not often find peace – except by chance – in a world where people will do whatever they like – whenever they like, regardless of how you might feel about it at the time.   

Events do not cause emotion.

Thinking causes emotion.

People are not disturbed by events but, instead, they are disturbed by their own thinking of events.

This is the essence of improved emotional intelligence.


3 responses

  1. Fiest, let me say I like the new look of your blog,nicely done.
    And now for a: “Thanks I needed that!”

    This whole new way of listening to the self-chatter of my own thinking and being personally responsible instead of blaming others is not easy. But then nothing of goodness ever comes easy.
    I am a young student sometimes veering off course, thank you for such a great reminder.
    Practice. Practice.

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